I love facebook. It is so cool, unlike Friendster which is absolutely retarded. I joined a group called "Hello, I’m an Auditor. Where did everybody go?" and stupid Hynz said she loves the group and laughed at her two favourite descriptions, which just happen to be the top 2.

Top Ten List for ways you know that you’re an Auditor:

10.) You elect to receive a check every week for pay instead of direct deposit…so that you have a paper trail.

9.) People move as far away from you as possible when you push your floor’s button in the elevators.

8.) The glass is neither half full nor half empty…at least not until you’ve done your own substantive testing.

7.) You’re constantly balancing, checking and rechecking all of your online bank accounts with your personal excel spreadsheet totals.

6.) You staple your deposit slip to your pay stub…just in case the computer system fails.

5.) Two forms of identification just aren’t enough for you; you carry your driver’s license, social security card and a passport to the grocery store.

4.) You write, “See ID’s” on all of your credit cards.

3.) You go through so many restricted doors to get to your office, Agent Maxwell Smart’s entrance looks like a walk in the park.

2.) After telling people what you do for a living, all conversation stops.

1.) You’re idea of a good pickup line is: “I’d like to audit those assets, baby.”

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You know the worst part is that number 2 is actually true! I witnessed it myself today. I was happily chatting and joking with 2 security guards and they just froze when I told them I’m an auditor and they practically ran away. I assured them that I wasn’t auditing them and I merely do financial audit - not "people audit", but they weren’t convinced. So sad……

I’m getting totally restless these days. I’m ending very early, like 530 sharp and I don’t know what to do with my free time! I’ve shopped all my salary away and now I’m broke. I’m too lazy to go to the gym or clean my room so I’m just sitting here and shaking my legs - LITERALLY!

I can’t sleep at night because I find 11pm to be ridiculously early to be sleeping already. Am I going crazy?!?! My senior says it’s a classic signs of a workaholic’s withdrawal symptons. She says she’s worse, she can’t even sleep at all. Oh man! Job hazards!!!!

I’m unapologetic for the lack of updates. Blogging has had become somewhat a chore for me….nevertheless, I thought I shall blog about something that has been bothering me for quite some time. Over some time, I realised I’ve become aunt agony of sorts….to cab drivers!?! *yikes*

I find an excuse to take cabs to and fro work daily take cabs regularly, so I’ve come across many types of cab drivers. I can profile them into various categories but I can say with some confidence that most of them fall into the "my customer is my aunt agony" category. One thing’s for sure - my Singlish has improved by leaps and bounds.

Category 1: Suffers from inferiority complex so finds the need to tell you in detail of his life before he was retrenched blah blah blah.

My role: I’m supposed to emphathise with him, to tell him I’m sure it’s all right, as long as you’re happy, it’s ok blah blah. Being a cab driver is a very respectful job blah blah blah, you’re very important too cos without you what would I do? I’ld be lost blah blah blah…

Category 2: Gah-men hater - doesn’t know anything about international politics (tony who?) but knows EVERYTHING about Singapore politics. And hates the gah-men. Complains non-stop.

My role: lots of "oh is it"s and "oh really"s and "aiyoh"s or "oh man!"s. This category has been nursing their hatred for too long, you can’t do anything about it. Anyway my knowledge of insider Singapore politics is like er limited so I cannot comment at all.

Category 3: LTA/cab company hater. Being an idiot, you gripe about being charged for peak hour surcharge even though you got into the cab at 9.29 am. One minute later you wouldn’t be slapped with the surcharge. OR worse, you get charged for $4 booking fee if you book at 9.25 am even though your cab comes at 935am. Now you really asked for it. So the cab driver goes into lengthy discussions about how it’s not his fault and LTA/cab company is the really bully. Uses colourful language like #$%@^^$

My role: Lots of "ya loh"s and "how can like that one"s and "really!!??!!"s… This category also has nursed its hatred for too long for you to do anything about it.

Category 4: Suffers from superiority complex. Finds the need to boast about his belongings. "Actually ah, I already have one MErcedes and live in a condo one". "I just drive cab to pass time". Or worse, tells u about all the "fun he’s had when he was young". I encountered one driver just the other day who told me in vivid details of how he was bribed in many instances and made "tons of money" and only drove "jaguars" in his young days.

My role: Lots of "wah, so good one" and "wah don’t like mahjong ah"s and "your car just sitting and rotting at home give me la"s. *rolls eyes*

Category 5: Neat freaks or just grumpy old men who need an excuse to scold you. I rarely eat in cabs but there was ONCE I was REALLY hungry and all I popped into my mouth was a ferror rocher chocolate and the bloody cab driver scolded me endlessly. Even asked me I was taught any manners. He was indian and said I shouldn’t disgrace indians with all these actions. I was like WTH….?

My role: *so shocked cannot utter a word*, start to defend myself but it’s no use. Ask him if he’s born in September. He says yes and what’s the connection with anything. I tell him all people born in September are neat freaks and that it’s perfectly all right to feel that way. It’s his turn to be dumbfounded. (Hah! he totally didn’t see that retort coming! - see it’s very important for aunt agony to know horoscopes well) I cooly alight from the cab, take my receipt as usual but this time take mental note of his cab number. Better not take his cab ever again!!!!

Category 6: "I hate my previous passenger". Complains endlessly about their previous passengers.

My role: Emphathise empathise empathise. Contribute stories of how I’ve encountered such people too and how "they cannot make it one". Embellish with lots fo "ya lors" and "how can like that one ah"s.

Category 7: Stalkers. Ok they’re not exactly stalkers but I keep getting the same drivers! There was one time my friend and I kept getting this guy for 3 straight times. They’re creepy cos they think they know so much about you. They usually live near you and know the security guard at your apartment and wait outside your house in the morning and says "shipyard girl right" the moment you get into the cab.

My role: Make some lame conversation about how shipyard girl sounds unglam and joke about how he shouldn’t wait for me like that cos the security guard teases me about being VIP and having cab waiting for me. Cab driver ignores me and starts talking about his bad day yesterday. And I have to comfort him. Bleargh.

My role as aunt agony is dumb. Why don’t cab drivers have like a hotline to call when they’re bored or something. It’s clear that they’re bored. But all I want to do is read my storybook during my ride. I so don’t wanna be aunt agony…but I feel bad for them so I just do my bit to make them feel good…for like a while at least.

I look like Mischa Barton? Woo Hoo!

Nowadays I’m just lazy to blog. It’s frustrating that I can’t even write without restraint and do what I love most - writing. I’ve come to accept that blogging is not the same as writing and it never will be - at least for me. Blogging is just a way of keeping in touch and letting people know what’s going on in your boring life. So here goes nothing.

Started the week by watching Namastey London with Ks and Hynz (always miss them!). It’s by far the best hindi movie I’ve watched this year. Really really good and Katrina Kaif really put in a stellar performance. As usual, Ks was crazy abt her silly Akshay but seriously the movie was truly hilarious. Mr Bean would be put to shame. Would definitely recommend it. The songs are good too. I LOVE Rafta Rafta.

Speaking of Hindi movies, I was pleasantly surprised when my Chinese manager started talking to me about all the movies she’s watched. She can rattle off all the actors and actresses and songs off her tongue effortlessly. I was dumbfounded. Imagine my total surprise when she told me she’s actually even taking bollywood dance classes. Think she’s the first Chinese person I’ve come across who’s so into Bollywood. Super impressive!

My three weeks of blissful working life is fast coming to an end. Next week, I return to God-forsaken-part-of-country. I’ve been booked by my manager….again…for the nth time. I should just stop saying goodbye to the client. I always seem to return. My senior has now affectionately termed it my shityard shipyard job. How nice.

I’ve capped off the week by shopping effortlessly. Bought some stuff at Esprit cos the firm gave us 33% off for corporate discount. I just received my Mango invitation card so gonna shop somemore soon. And oooh I’m really eyeing the Estella patent shoes from Aldo. I crave.

And oh yes…I’m hooked on Harper’s Bazaar. Why oh why didn’t I know about it before? It’s such an entertaining read and the photography is pure eye candy.

Plans for the weekend?
- Celebrate mom’s bday
- Clubbing with R
- Finish up thesis first draft

And I desperately want to watch freedom writers. Who wants to watch with me?

Caught the latest news. Bob Woolmer, Pakistan’s cricket coach was found dead. Some conspiracy stories have emerged, including that he was poisoned and strangled, possibly to hush up any aftermaths of match fixing. Cricket has been abysmal this year, to say the least. It’s hardly any consolation if India even makes it to the Super 8s, after being slapped in the face with regards to the defeat by Bangladesh. Of all the minnows in the world, being defeated by Bangladesh is really worse than being slapped in the face. Probably akin to being run over by a car when all you were expecting was a gentle breeze.

Anyway, today I received insight into the new meaning of overhyped. I’m referring to Mr. Bean’s Holiday.

You wouldn’t quite believe it, but there was hardly a cinema you could get a seat at for this movie on a Saturday. Virtually all cinemas had sold out or selling fast status. That’ll probably give you the idea that this is some kind of blockbuster movie but it isn’t…and you probably should not expect it to be one. Instead, it’s a typical Bean movie which his usal bag of trite and hackneyed tricks that lead him to a disaster-filled path where he tries his best to get out of the huge mess that he created himself (and others too). It isn’t anything new but some parts of the movie are really overdone, like it’s too ridiculous or something - even for Mr. Bean. Too much for some cheap laughs, if you ask me. And the fact that there were kids who were sleeping during the movie points to the questionablity of the entertain-ability of the movie. If kids can’t appreciate Mr Bean, who can?

Earlier in the day, went to Olio Dome at Suntec City for lunch. I would recommend this place. The mixed grill is really good (ask for the steak to be replaced by chicken thighs and you’ll be pleased too). The soup’s good too and I dare say that the service was exemplary. The decor and ambience are soothing with the use of sofas and wood.

We didn’t make it to the NATAS fair. Decided to give it a miss and go full steam to find a bloody cinema that had seats for Mr Bean, which clearly was an uphill task. Finally ended up at Great World City, rotting at TCC for hours before catching a late show. The TCC there is pretty good. Service was really good despite the fact that we were kinda hogging the comfy seats. I discovered a magazine to look forward to every month - Harper’s Bazaar. It’s one of the few magazines I’ve come across that can engage me for hours and makes me wanna read and look at every single page. It got me glued - the writers really have good style and the photography is simply amazing. Loves it. Oh - and I got new shoes… but I need more pairs! My shoe closet is literally begging for more inhabitants. Perhaps I’ll get more shoes this weekend. Wish me luck!

Went to watch Music and Lyrics. Liked it. Certainly a feel-good movie that makes for perfect viewing pleasure. Romantic comedies starring Hugh Grant or Drew Barrymore always bring smiles to my face, and Music and Lyrics was no different. I liked the fact that it had a nice story going but unfortunately the plot wasn’t taken a bit further enough. I mean the part about confronting her ex could have been developed a bit further towards the end at least. Nevertheless, given that it’s a comedy, perhaps it wasn’t meant to be too serious. And yes, had a few good laughs.

Anyway I have questions I can’t quite answer, or actually to better put it, I don’t quite know what to do about some situations. And they’re really trivial….but really get to me.

1) You’re sitting in the subway, on your way to work. A woman stands in front of you. You ignore her, cos she’s probably just another random commuter. And then she holds her tummy. She does this two or three times. And then you wonder why. Could she possibly be pregnant? She isn’t visibly pregnant, but she could be. Should you offer her your seat? What if she isn’t pregnant? Then you would be insinuating that she is FAT. Now that just wouldn’t do, right?

What would you do?

2) There a bunch of punks listening to some crappy music (ie. Akon or Eminem or whatever) SUPER LOUDLY. In fact, it’s not listening. They’re bascially BLASTING their crappy music for all and sundry to hear. And mind you, all and sundry, including tired office workers like yours truly, do NOT want to hear. Come on, it isn’t Rammstein or Nirvana or even Red Hot Chilli Peppers. It’s Akon - Singing "I want to love you, love you, love you" doesn’t exactly require 300 million decibels does it? You feel like going up to these stupid punks and knocking some sense into them. But you can’t muster up the guts cos they look like punks with bad hairdos and you’re afraid of getting beaten up for no rhyme or reason (pun intended).

What would you do?

3) You head to your workplace, clearly pissed off with the world. And then you see this person who from time to time annoys the hell out of you (and your fellow colleagues) for a very trivial thing. She BURPS….VERY loudly. Make that super duper loudly. I’m not exagerating. She burps sooo loudly you feel like puking everytime she does it. And the burping thing happens several times a day. Only God knows what the hell she eats to make her burp like that. Now the problem is that, neither you nor your colleagues actually know what to do about it cos you cannot afford to strain the relationship you have with this client. You have to be on their good side, for obvious reasons. Do you continue to tolerate it and overwork your gag reflexes?

What would you do?

Sometimes you picture me–
I’m walking too far ahead
You’re calling to me, I can’t hear
What you’ve said–
Then you say–go slow–
I fall behind–
The second hand unwinds

If you’re lost you can look–and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you–I’ll be waiting
Time after time

Well well, that song doesn’t mean anything to me but I just like it a lot. There are many versions to this, including one by Cyndi Lauper and Eva Cassidy, but my favourite one’s gotta be INOJ’s. Very uplifting. I’m not gonna be catching anyone anytime soon cos’ I’m finally officially single and very happy now. I’ve come to realise that a relationship is not even on my list of wants/to-dos at the moment so I’m gonna be a happy single and unavailable person for quite some time at least.

In other news this week, well, it’s been nothing short of great. I started on a really nice engagement for which I doubt I’ll have to work late for the next 3 weeks. (Finally rid of the shipyard!) Yesterday, I went to Moghul Mahal for my friend’s farewell party. I think it’s now my fav. Indian restaurant. All the food I had was very good! Now the funny thing is that my mom took down the address wrongly for it and she just wrote this:

Moghul Mahal Hotel *
Mobtel Hotel
Clarke Quay

*(It’s an Indian thing to call restaurants hotels - don’t ask)

Have you even heard of “Mobtel Hotel”? Me neither - and my mom acutally chided me for not knowing it. I did a check on the net and found nothing. I assured her that no taxi driver would know it either. Nonetheless, I figured it shouldn’t be too difficult and just decided to get to Clarke Quay and go find it there. Imagine my eyes rolling when I find it. The hotel name reads:

NOVOTEL - clearly a far cry from Mobtel

My mom’s just too funny sometimes.

Anyway, finally tried out Fig and Olive at Vivocity today. Not bad. Not bad at all. Place is a bit cramped but food ain’t too bad. Nothing to rave about, at least not to the extent that people have been raving about.

Random Qn: How many of you think that men wearing Polo Ralph Lauren cologne is still sexy?

My take: So yester-year….ok make that yester-don’t-know-when. It’s become so commonplace every tom, dick and harry’s wearing it. I think men should get something new. The less “extremely distinguishable” it is, the better is it.

Just when I thought I was rid of this engagement, I got booked by my manager….again. So it was back to godforsaken-part-of-country this week…again. Well I guess it’s ok though. I get to work with the financial instruments I like to do, so what the heck. I’m actually beginning to like this job to which Ks retorted that I’m crazy. I think I am too, cos’ I haven’t really heard of anyone who actually likes this job.

Anyway, I went off with Bab to celebrate the end of my Masters. (Ok technically it isn’t over cos there is still the thesis to do which is gonna take another 3 months and I haven’t started but all lessons are over!) The presentations went very well and my team had a blast. Anyway, for celebration, Bab and I had over usual, pool with whoregardens hoegardens. Had a good time catching up babe. But I’m not satisfied. I think I need retail therapy. I’m pissed off that my Esprit card has expired without me noticing but I got my extended Mango card so now I can go on more shopping sprees. I’m dying to get a lovely sundress I saw at TopShop.

Decided to do my hair only next weekend cos I forgot that the bizcomp bootcamp at n*us is the whole of this weekend. Sucks. So much for thinking that my weekends were finally free. Who else is going for the bootcamp? Let me know cos I don’t think the rest of my team can make it.

Oh I just got started on this book by Micahel E. Gordon (Trump University) called Entrepreneurship 101. It’s got Donald Trump’s face plastered on the face of the book so I guess that’s what makes the book attractive(?). The books’s turning out to be a really stunning read and apparently promises to tell u how to turn your idea into a money machine. Not that I’m gonna be a Donald Trump anytime soon but I think it’s ok to dream, ya.

Clearly this entry is turning out to be a disjointed random thought process of events running through my head. To further chaotize this, I have to say that the latest season of Prison Break is a lot more laudable than the first part of season two. But do they really need this long to get Sarah and Michael to kiss on two separate occasions? It is soooooo frustrating, but still….ooh so entertaining.